Näe vet ni vad, inte för att jag nog har några följare än för att bloggen är så ny men den som läser detta pratar jag med då! Jag orkar inte deppa längre, jag vill inte gråta längre för det blir ju inte bättre av det. Jag blir bara trött och matt i hela kroppen! Så, nu jävlar ska det bli ändring! Jag har en valp att ha hand om, jag har mig själv att ta hand om och mina hobbys att hålla vid liv! 
Det kanske dyker upp deppiga texter ibland men hellre det än att jag skulle bosätta mig i gropen här eller hur? Det skulle bara leda till dåligheter. 

Jag vill må bra vetni, jag vill visa för en viss person och några personer till att jag kan vara glad och må bra även om jag ibland tvingas vara själv. Även om jag nu nog inte är själv då jag har hund nu. Men utan mänskligt sällskap då. 
Jag ska börja leva efter mitt alterego och bli som jag var för några år seda. Den tjejen gillade jag att vara, hon som alltid var full av energi, var glad och spred skratt. Det mådde jag bra av! 

Jag ska börja rita igen, skriva ibland, fota, spela, 3D-modellera i sculptris, vara med min hund, jag ska bli JAG igen! 
Inte för att jag varit någon annan innan, men du förstår nog vad jag menar. Alla förändras ju, ibland vill man bara gå tillbaka några steg. 

Jag vill kunna se mig själv i spegeln och tycka att jag är söt och verkligen mena det! Jag vill kunna gå på stan och vara stolt över vem jag är och hurdan jag är. Så kanske det är lättare att älska någon annan mer och visa det bättre, när man lärt sig att till 100%, fullt ut älska sig själv. 

Visst blir det inte lätt, men med tiden blir det nog bra till slut. 

Allting kommer bli bra till slut, du ska se att allting ordnar sig~ 

Hey, you know, I love you.
Hey, you see, there's no one else.
Hey, you know, we are meant to be.
Hey, you see, you're just CRAZY!

You changed yourself for me, now you blame me. You put away yourself, you took away your books, you took away your quills, your inks, your paper. And now, you see, you seem to blame me.
I never asked for this, I never asked for you to change, I never thought you'd say that.
Hey, you see, I can never, ever, ever, never, ever, ever, I can never, ever, ever give you up. I can never, ever, ever let you go. Never, ever, ever hate you, stop loving you, hoping, begging, wishing you'd love me too.

Nothing tore me to pieces more than seeing you happy without me. Call me selfish, call me ego, call me cold, call me anything. But never forget me. Never lie to me, never turn me away, never forget our memories.
The ones we share are the ones I treasure most...
You smile, you laugh, you sound happy, how can you? It's been less than a week, how can you be so free. So relaxed, so cold, so cool with what you did. You'll regret it, you'll suffer for it, you'll see your mistakes when it's far too late. You took away all the sanity in me, you left nothing, you own my heart, I gave it to you to care for it, to keep it, to let me keep yours. My love..you broke me...So..call me a fool..but..I love you..

I hope you like your new life cause I hate it, I hope you find what you seek when I'm lost in the dark. I hope you regret what you did so I can take you back, love you again. You! You can love me again. Be whole again...
I'm mizerable, so broken, so lost, so close. close to what? close to you, close to your body, close to your heart. I love you.

I wept and I cried and I cried and I cried! I wept and I cried and I cried and I cried! I wept and I cried and I cried and I cried and I screamed your name, I shouted it out so loud, oh so loud. I screamed for my darling, I cried for you and I hoped you could feel it. I hoped you would feel this pain I feel and carry in my chest so heavy. So painful, so strong, so..harmful.
I screamed for you, my love, my darling. How could you? I love you! I screamed and I cried and I cried and I cried. I screamed and I cried and I cried and I cried. I cried and I screamed, I hoped and I begged, I missed and I kissed your heart. I love you!
How could I? How could I? Oh! How could I hope for you to feel this pain? How could I hope for you to break into pieces, crush your heart, be so torn apart, be so dark inside, so..broken. My love. My dear. My treasure. My star. My Alice. Your Hatter is torn apart, she's torn apart! By! You! You said those words, it hurt so bad, it tore my heart apart like a rose it burned in the fire so hot and so burning! So crued and so cold. You said..it's over.
I took your hand, I screamed for you, I begged for a second chance, to prove, to make you feel, to make you see...I love you. I love you. I love you. I love...you.

I looked you deep in your eyes, I saw the tears flowing down, running down, crawling down your cheek. I wiped them away for you, your salty, sweet little tears, I wiped them away, I looked in to your eyes, I told you. I'm sorry.
You said it too! You said you were sorry, you said you couldn't take it, the pain, the chaos, the core of us. It's hot, so hot! It's love, yes! It's love, my dear! It's love! I told you that as my tears wet down my pretty little face, I kissed your lips and hoped you would say, and you did!
I..love..you..too!


So why did you do it? Why did you leave me? Why did you take your ring off of that finger? Why did you hurt me? Why did you hurt you? Why? Why?! Why!!!?

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you now and forever. No one touches me, no one gets close to me, no one gets me, no one will never, ever, ever, ever, ever get to touch the core, the so hidden, so fragile core of my heart! No one! No one! No one!
I'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever love anyone! No! No one! But...you.
I love you...Lou<3